It is that time of year of again . . .

It is that time of year again. I am planning Carly's birthday party. Hard to believe that she is going to be three years old. Bitter sweet of course. I still am in shock that IVF worked and that we are one of the lucky ones. We have a baby after infertility treatments (and we don't have a liter of babies at that). I get excited plannning her party every year but it reminds me that my life didn't quite turn out like I thought it would. I never thought I would have to plan two birthday parties because my parents are not married. Hang on - I am not getting negative (I know - its a shock - but keep reading). So, my life did not go as planned. I basically grew up in the blue victorian house on Lee Street. My sister was lucky enough to have her first baby there and have many normal family BBQ's and have her husband and family gather there several times with my parents. Me -well . . .not so much. Carly knows nothing of that world and part of me thanks God for that because she can't miss what she did not know but I wish sometimes she knew what we had. My parents are no longer together. That obviously wasn't in the plan. I still don't understand why that is not the plan but for whatever reason "it is what it is". But I have started to learn to accept it for what it is. My Dad lives in Texas. Not even around the corner. My Mom lives around the corner but the distance between us sometimes feels she lives in Southeast Asia (and that is mostly my fault). I avoid what makes me sad. I want her to be happy and she is not. She can choose to be and I hope somebody she will. I was moping around the other day and really feeling sorry for my self with all of this and was driving to Target to get a pair of pink sequin flip flops for Carly ("flop flops" as she calls them). As I started to drive on to Primrose from Glenstone - I saw "the" sign. It was a "adopt a highway" sign. It was in the name of McKenzie Graham. On Thanksgiving 1999, 5 year old McKenzie Graham was in the car with her mom, riding in the passenger seat when someone turned in front of them. They crashed, the airbag deployed, and Mckenzie was killed. Their vehicle was traveling less than ten miles per hour. McKenzie - gone forever. The Graham family - their life did not go life as planned.I knew about the accident in 1999 and was friends with the attorney representing the Graham family. To be honest, I really haven't thought about the Graham family much since the accident faded out of the media but I haven't stopped thinking about it since I saw the sign. Although, my life hasn't turned out like I had planned. I have so much that other people don't. Lori lost her husband at such a young age, I have a baby when so many others can't have babies, my mom has a healthy kidney thanks to kidney donation, I have both of my parents and my husband doesn't. I have a healthy sister while my friend Misti is asking for people to pray for her sister Julie who is fighting cancer - I could go on and on . . . but I focus on the negative. I may have to plan two birthday parties to keep the peace but I have two wonderful families to invite and I have a wonderul little girl who is celebrating her birthday. Happy Birthday Carly!